Can you think of the very first time you told someone you loved them?

More than likely, you were very young and it was to a parent. I can’t remember the first time I said “I love you” to my mom or dad. Honestly, I don’t even remember the first time my own kids said it to me. (Though for the record, both said “Dadda” first. I may have coached that one a bit just so I could brag about it!)

But I do remember the first time I told Kim that I loved her.

I was sitting in my apartment, waiting for her to come visit me. We were long-distance dating - she lived in Alabama, and I was in Tulsa. As we talked while she was at the airport, we started to wrap up the call. Without really thinking, as we were saying goodbye, I said for the very first time, “I love you.” It was if it just accidentally spilled out

Her response?
“Okay… bye.” And then we both ended the call.

Oops. Not exactly the most romantic moment to drop the “L-word,” and she definitely didn’t reciprocate the sentiment. I remember sitting there thinking, “Did I just screw that up?” I immediately prayed that she would still got on the plane to come see me!

But as I processed it, I realized something. That “I love you” wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t just a casual phrase you throw out of habit like when you hang up with a friend or family member. I said it because I meant it. I felt it.

What does love really mean?

When I said those words to Kim, I felt love, but as we approach 20 years of marriage we now know that love isn’t always a feeling. In fact, love is more of a choice than a warm-fuzzy. It is an intentional choosing to put another person’s needs above your very own. See as a believer in Jesus, I know love goes deeper than feelings.

The Bible tells us that Jesus is the very definition of love. We can read and learn about love in the Bible but we can also see that Jesus lived a life of love and showed us what real love looks like - a choice that puts someone else’s good above your own, even when it costs you something.

Paul clearly states this…But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Rom 5:8 (NLT)

God came to us in the flesh and laid down His life for us that we might truly live. He faced the agony of the cross to make a way for us to God the Father. He did all that even though we can be pretty lousy people. What incredible and amazing love! However, this love is not designed for us to just experience, but also, to compel and propel us to then love others with the same intensity.

That’s why John, one of Jesus’ disciples, reminds believers: “This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.” - 1 John 3:11

John likely wanted his readers to recall what Jesus Himself said again and again in His Gospel: “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” - John 13:34

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” - John 15:12

“This is my command: Love each other.” - John 15:17

Or maybe John was reminding them of that moment when Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Either way, the reminder is simple and clear: Love one another.

So my question for us today is…

How loving are you? Who in your life might need to experience that kind of love from you today, the kind that acts, sacrifices, and chooses to put others first?

If you’re like me and you want to love more, ask God to deposit His love into your heart. That’s where it starts. Then pray that the love He gives you would move you into action - with no conditions, no strings attached. That’s how we become more loving.

Then maybe, just maybe, no matter what’s going on in your world you will let love spill out into any relationship you have!

I guess that’s it for now, until next time…I love you!